


Big Hands, I Know You're the One

by samajama



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, so much!!!! masturbation!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 15:33:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1007067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samajama/pseuds/samajama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry move in together after the X Factor house, which would be exciting, if they could stop walking in on each other wanking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Hands, I Know You're the One

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Blister in the Sun by The Violent Femmes. ‘Body and beats I stain my sheets’ and all that. Basically I came across pictures while reblogging porn (shocker) and my brain imploded, so here we go. I do not own nor am I associated with One Direction nor their affiliates. Keep the fourth wall intact and do not post this as your own. Thanks!
> 
> Fic mix found [here](http://hitopslou.tumblr.com/post/64270728035/1-overjoyed-bastille-2-anchors-away)!
> 
>   
> 
> 
> The referenced porn can be found [here](http://www.xvideos.com/video453437/brent_everet_e_brent_corrigan). It doesn't really matter if you watch it or not, but. There you go.

Neither Louis nor Harry had lived with another boy similar in age before. At first, it seemed like it wouldn't be a big deal, but as time went on, the two realized it might be more difficult than they initially thought. 

It wasn't _bad_ , per se, just...awkward sometimes. The problem wasn't about fighting over who didn't do the dishes or why didn't you pick your dirty underwear off the bathroom floor. No, the problem wasn't even fighting.

The problem was doors. Or more specifically the locks on the doors. Or really the lack thereof. 

Now, it wasn't as if Louis had never seen Harry naked before. They _did_ live in the X Factor house together after all. Harry was pretty much naked any time that was even a little bit socially acceptable. So, it wasn't the nakedness. It wasn't even really the wanking either. Living in a confined space with hormonal teenage boys meant jerking off quietly in your bunk. Unfortunately, that also meant listening to your fellow band mates do the same. Whether Louis liked it or not, he was used to that, too. 

But the difference was that now they actually have their own rooms. They have space, they have time - well okay, maybe not a _lot_ of time but enough. They have privacy. Theoretically. 

Louis knocks on Harry's door softly. There's no response. He knocks again a little more loudly and there's still no reply. Louis thinks he can hear breathing and assumes his friend has fallen asleep. He cracks the door open and Harry's name is on his lips when he realizes the real reason Harry hasn't answered. 

Harry's headphones are in his ears plugged into his laptop where Louis can only assume he is watching porn. His hand is slick and swiftly pumping his flushed cock. His head, thrown back a little with his eyes heavy lidded, almost closed.

Louis assumes he's just listening to the porn at this point, although that really doesn't matter. He squeaks, "Sorry!" and runs out of the room. Harry seems pretty unfazed by the whole thing, his hand not stopping its solid pump. Louis shuts the door and walks down the hallway a bit. 

Now that he knows what he's listening to, he can hear the steady slap of skin mixed with Harry's heavy breathing he originally mistook for light snoring. It isn't a moment later when he hears Harry cry out his orgasm.

Louis feels embarrassed and a bit of a voyeur, so he scurries away and walks to his own room, throwing himself down on his unmade bed. He humiliatingly whimpers as he finds himself hard as well. He feels infinitely too guilty to rub one out because of what he saw Harry doing, so he resigns to take a cold shower instead.

* * * * *

Once he exits the bathroom, he wanders to the kitchen in search of some tea. Instead, he finds Harry and his cheeks flush. "Uh," he sputters.

"Hey, Lou."

"Listen, I'm really sorry about before. I knocked, I swear. Twice, actually. I thought you were sleeping. I was going to see if you wanted some tea, but then you were- well, you know what you were doing, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he blurts out.

"Lou, it's fine. Really. I mean, a little awkward, yeah, but it's not like that was the first time you've seen me naked, right? I'm not mad, promise. Like you said, you knocked, I just didn't hear. I tend to listen, um, loudly sometimes. I like to listen more than watch... so that's probably why I didn't, uh. Hear you. Yeah."

"Right. That's. Okay then. So, we're okay?" Louis asks.

"Of course."

* * * * *

They weren't okay. Two weeks had passed almost without incident, but there had been another close call one day before Harry was going to get in the shower. Harry had been getting himself ready for a slow wank in the shower with his laptop in his room. Louis, who was unaware of this, knocked on his door to see if he wanted to join him for lunch. Harry shouted, "I'M IN A TOWEL!"

"Harry, you're always naked. This isn't anything new, why- ?"

"Towel and, uh, about to...shower." Louis swallowed as he heard the familiar sounds of breath hitching before mumbling acknowledgement walking away. He caught a glimpse behind him of Harry crossing the hall to the shower with a defined bulge beneath the towel wrapped around his waist.

* * * * *

Apparently, this incident is the omen of bad luck. The next day Louis tried to take advantage of Harry's absence. He had gone out with Niall to do some food shopping and to pick up lunch for the two of them. Louis knows he will have at least two hours to himself so he decides to use them for some uninterrupted bliss.

He takes a hot shower despite the fact he's just going to dirty himself again. To be honest, he kind of likes the mess. Louis is feeling loose from the shower and walks to bed without bothering to put any clothes on. He pulls a small bottle of lube from the nightstand and dribbles some onto his fingers. 

Louis lies back on the bed and strokes himself a few times, slides his hand over and past his balls lingering over his hole. He presses his first slicked digit inside easily. Reveling in the tight burn, he allows himself to moan, unafraid of being heard.

He withdraws the first finger and replaces it with two, throwing his head back into his pillow. Louis presses his ass down onto his hand, squeezing the base of his cock with his free hand. He rolls himself over, burying his face in his pillow, still pressing back onto his hand.

Louis removes his fingers and wipes them on the sheets. He grabs onto his dick and begins pumping frantically. He holds himself up with one arm, abs straining, as he pleasures himself with the other.

He rolls over once again and threads his hand through his sweaty hair, gripping it tightly and he strokes himself closer and closer to the edge. At the cusp of his orgasm, he hears a small creak and sees Harry appear in his doorway, mouth slightly agape as their eyes meet. Louis comes on his chest and tries to grab for his sheet. "Fuck, Harry!"

This seems to snap Harry out of his reverie and he quickly shuts Louis's door. Louis takes a deep breath and swipes some come off of his stomach. He sucks on his fingers and relishes the taste. He moans again, albeit much more softly this time. He grabs a tissue to wipe up the rest of his mess, and pulls on his pants. 

He grabs sweats and a t-shirt from his dresser and ambles out to the living room, where he finds Harry sitting, head in his hands.

"Harry?" Louis starts. He looks up and lifts his hand in a small wave.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry you, uh, walked in on that. I didn't hear you come in and I, uh, thought you'd be gone longer or maybe my shower took longer than I expected, I don't know..." he trails off.

Harry shakes his head. "It's fine. I mean, you don't need to be sorry. _I'm_ sorry. I should have let you know I was coming back sooner. I ended up getting food to cook for us instead of buying something. Niall and I ran into a crowd of girls, so I didn't want to be out longer than we had to be."

"Well, that's...completely understandable."

"Yeah, but I should have thought-"

"What? How were you supposed to know what I'd be doing just because you were going shopping. Harry, it's fine. It's done. Maybe we should invest in some locks," Louis jokes.

"Ha. Maybe."

Louis can sense his friend's dismay. "Harry, really, it's okay. Look, now we're even."

Harry looks up with a glint in his eyes. "Oh. Right." Louis blushes now remembering the look on Harry's face when he had interrupted him.

"Let's just have lunch, shall we?"

* * * * *

Louis fidgets with his spoon while he sips his tea. "Haz, do you mind clearing up the rest of breakfast? I'm gonna grab a shower."

"Sure."

Louis climbs the stairs to his bathroom and shuts the door behind him. He drops his joggers and pulls his shirt over his head. He leans into the shower to turn the hot water on and looks into the mirror as it heats up.

He stares at his reflection and scrubs his hands over his face. Louis breathes a sigh of relief as he realizes he's actually able to get a quick wank in while he showers.

His dick stirs at the prospect, especially after being neglected the past few days, and Louis smiles to himself. He steps into the shower stall and begins washing his hair, pointedly ignoring his cock for the time being.

He allows his eyes to slip closed and imagines the hands running through his hair are another, larger pair.

Louis isn't proud of his train of thought, but... See, he's usually better about this. He used to be able to crank one out every other day or so, at least. He'd been able to keep these feelings at bay. These feelings for Harry. He would force himself to think about someone else. Or try to, anyway.

But Louis's been a little less willing to get a hand on his dick lately since Harry walked in on him. So, Louis's only human, okay?

He squirts some of his Old Spice shower gel into his palm. Finally, Louis brings a shaky hand to his dick and hissed as the cool gel touches the hot skin. He works himself slowly at first, his dick slipping through his fist.

Louis leans his other arm against the wall of the shower, hair flattening against his eyes under the spray of the shower. He lets himself thrust his hips into his hand, squeezing his fingers more tightly around himself.

"Hey Lou, Zayn wants to know if we- FUCK! Shit, sorry!" Harry scrambles out of the bathroom and Louis almost loses his balance from turning to the sudden intrusion of Harry's voice.

"Well, fuck."

* * * * *

Louis wanders into the living room some time later after quickly finishing his shower and pulling on some fresh clothes. As soon as Harry sees him enter the room, a brilliant flush rises in his cheeks and an apology stumbles out of his mouth, "Lou oh my god, I'm so sorry, I had no idea, I would have _never_ , I'm so so so sorry, Lou, I ju-"

"It's fine, Harry. It's done. Don't worry yourself over it."

"I'm still sorry."

Louis rolls his eyes. "And I forgive you, stupid. Now cuddle me and let's watch a film or something."

"Yeah, okay. Whichever you want."

"Nah, you choose. And what were you coming to tell me anyway?"

Harry blushes again as he walks over to their massive shelf of DVDs. "Oh, Zayn wanted to know if we wanted to have lunch with him and the boys in a bit."

"Oh. What did you say?"

"I told him I would ask you and then I kind of hung up on him. I should probably call him back to tell him we're busy."

A crease forms in Louis's forehead. "You don't want to see them?"

"No, I- We can go if you want, but I thought. You said to put on a film, so I thought we could? I'll just tell Zayn we can meet them if you want, it's fine, I've just got to find my damn phone." Harry feels over the pockets in his jeans. "Of course it's right here, I'm going mental, I swear," he rambles pulling the phone out of his front pocket.

"Harry."

"Hm?"

"Just tell him we'll see them tomorrow."

"Okay."

Harry texts Zayn and puts in the movie before returning to the couch. "So what are we watching?"

"Grease."

" _Harry._ "

" _Louis_ ," he mocks.

"Cheekiness doesn't look good on you." Harry lifts his arm in invitation. Louis snuggles himself under his best friend's arm and whispers into his t-shirt, "Thank you."

* * * * *

That night Louis lies in his bed unable to fall asleep. He curls himself around one of his extra pillows, burying his face in it.

He can't seem to get himself comfortable no matter how long he lies here. Not to mention how much his mind is racing over this afternoon and how good it felt to laze around with Harry's arms wrapped around him.

Louis sighs and sits up. He internally debates the pros and cons of walking over to Harry's room right now. On the one hand, he'd be feeding his stupid feelings and he'll probably regret his weakness for the arms of his best friend in the morning.

On the other hand, Louis _really_ can't sleep and cuddling with Harry would probably allow him to do so, leaving him refreshed for tomorrow. Sometime during this 'debate' Louis's body must have given in because he's already grabbed his glasses from his bedside table and scooted to the edge of the mattress.

He slides his glasses on and quietly pads down the hallway to Harry's bedroom. He grabs the doorknob and slowly turns it, trying not to wake the younger boy. Fortunately, Harry isn't woken up by Louis opening the door. Unfortunately, that's because Louis finds him with one hand gripped in the sheet and dildo up his ass. So. There's that.

" _Fuck_ , we really need to stop meeting like this," Harry gasps out.

Louis stands, jaw dropped for a moment before he snaps out of his reverie and scrambles to leave the room and shut the door behind him. It isn't until he's back to his room that he realizes Harry had still been fucking himself as he stared at Louis in his doorway.

And Louis thought he couldn't sleep _before_ `.

* * * * *

Louis hasn't jerked off in two weeks. He's too paranoid to try when Harry's around and he's scared of Harry returning early again, so that doesn't work either. He almost wanted to try it in the shower again, but even that doesn't work because now _all_ Louis can think about is Harry. 

It's bad enough Louis _might_ have a stupid crush on his best friend. He's definitely not going to fuel the fire by adding Harry to his masturbatory fodder. Again.

Everyone always assumed he and Harry would get together because they both liked boys. Granted, they've both dated girls as well, but they definitely have a preference for guys. Regardless, Louis resents the assumption and always has. Sure, Harry's fit and he's his best mate so they get on really well, but that doesn't have to mean anything.

Which is why he has been fighting his feelings for so long. He refuses to play right into their hands. Even if part of him _really_ wants to. Besides, it's not like Harry is interested in Louis anyway.

So with that, Louis hasn't gotten off in weeks and it's putting him on edge. He finds himself snapping at the other boys at inopportune times. Just yesterday, Liam asked Louis to go over his harmony with him and Louis screamed that he didn't have time to help Liam, couldn't Liam see that he had his own things to deal with, maybe Liam should stop being so damn selfish.

Liam had paled and Louis immediately apologized, saying he had no idea what had gotten into him. He had just been in a bad mood all day. Of course, he _had_ known what had gotten into him. Or hadn't gotten into him. Or on him. Or... _God_ , he really needs to get off soon.

After dinner, he hears a loud, clear knock on his door. "Louis, can I come in?"

"Sure." They've been sure to communicate before entering each other’s rooms now, when they bother to at all that is. This whole situation has put a serious dent in their friendship as of late. Usually the boys were always in each other's rooms and beds, hanging out and having fun. Now, Harry and Louis have been avoiding each other's personal spaces at all costs to their fun and happiness.

He's holding something that looks like a CD in his hand but Louis can't really see.

"Listen Louis, I can't keep living like this."

Louis gasps and mock faints while saying, "You're breaking up with me?!"

"Ha ha," Harry deadpans, "but you know what I mean. We're both on edge all the time: afraid to interrupt each other any more than we already have, afraid to get off ourselves for fear of _being_ interrupted. And don't think I haven't noticed. You're my best mate and you have been fucking uptight his past week."

"Two weeks," Louis grunts. "Yes, okay, you've caught me red handed. Or not, I suppose."

Harry smiles. "I thought as much. So. I think I have a solution for our problem...if you're up for it?"

"Shoot." He holds up what's in his hands. Louis was wrong in thinking it was a CD, as Harry moves to insert it into his DVD player. However it's not a Disney movie or something that he would normally expect from Harry, it's just blank, so he asks, "What's that?" 

"My favorite porn collection." Louis looks dumbfounded. 

"Are you serious?" 

"Of course I am. If we can't get off when we're alone, we might as well do it together."

"You realize this is a terrible idea, right?"

Harry face falls and his hands still. "We don't _have_ to do it I just thought..." Louis sighs. It had only been a few weeks and he's already going crazy and...maybe this _would_ help. Maybe Harry was right. Or maybe they were both crazy, but either way, something has Louis nodding and Harry beams. He closes the DVD drawer on Louis's player and turns on the TV, making sure the volume isn't too loud.

He pulls off his shirt before plopping next to Louis on his bed. Louis swallows at the sight of Harry's tightening abs. "You gonna get comfortable or what?"

Louis shrugs and pulls off his own shirt, wiggling out of his trousers while he's at it. He feels extremely vulnerable in just his pants until he sees Harry following suit and taking it further to strip completely naked.

Louis swallows again, his throat feeling dry. He's seen Harry naked a million times and because of their few instances lately, he's even seen the boy aroused. He knows exactly what Harry looks like. He knows what he sounds like panting and climaxing. But there is something about being here with him. About Harry consciously and _willingly_ letting him be a part of this experience that has Louis feeling both nervous and a little excited and also, though he doesn't want to admit it, really turned on.

"Um, before we start," Louis ventures, "we should probably make some ground rules or something, yeah? Like, can we look or...I dunno, talk?"

"Well, you can talk if you like, doesn't bother me. Do you... _want_ me to look?"

"I- Uh. I mean, you can I guess?"

Harry narrows his eyes. "Is that a statement or a question?"

"A statement?"

"Louis."

"What!" Louis crosses his arms over his chest, feeling slightly uncomfortable under Harry's scrutinous gaze.

"Louis, you don't want me to look at you, and that's fine. I don't mind if you look at me, okay? Let's just do this and if you're uncomfortable for whatever reason, we'll stop, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Harry presses play and the scene starts immediately with the two boys kissing. They were sleeping together, like _literally_ , and sharing a pillow. And now they're kissing? What the hell kind of porn is this anyway? "This is..."

"Not what you expected?" Harry offers.

"No. Well, yes. But I was going to say 'nice.'"

Harry nods, keeping his eyes on the screen as he told Louis he would. "Yeah, I think so, too. That's why I like it so much. It's, like, _real_ , not that 'oh god you're so hot, come on my face, fuck please' bullshit that usually goes into porn. I mean, sometimes that's great, but..."

"Yeah, I get it." The boys on the screen continued kissing and started pressing their bodies closer together, clearly just wanting to be in one another's space and Louis can feel his arousal coming on already. He peeks out of the corner of his eye to Harry and sees he's half-hard as well. There's something about the intimacy of this moment, both between the boys on Louis's telly and the two of them in his bed, that is turning them both on rather quickly.

Louis slides a hand into his pants and loosely strokes himself to harden himself more fully. "You can take those off, you know," Harry whispers from beside him. "I promise I won't look if you don't want me too. And you'll probably be more comfortable."

"Uh, yeah, okay." Louis slides off his pants at the same time as the one of the boys on his screen starts to pull off his partner's underpants and he sighs. He hadn't realized how constricting they had been.

"You know," Harry starts again. "Sometimes I like to judge how good these are, like- I'll get myself off as quickly as possible when it starts, right? And then depending on how good it is, see if it can get me hard again by the end of it. That's how you know it's _really_ good."

Louis swallows for what he feels like is the thousandth time. "Is that what you want to do right now?"

"Me? Nah. I told you. This is my favorite. I already _know_ it can do that for me. You, on the other hand..."

"You want _me_ to do it?"

Harry shrugs. "Why not?"

"I- Okay." Louis licks his hand and quickens his stroke. He watches the boys on his telly, as they strip one another. 

He watches one of the boys go down on the other and there's still an intimacy Louis hadn't expected, especially as the boys continue pausing for kisses. Louis closes his eyes for a moment and imagines a pair of wet, hot lips circling him instead of his own hand. Lips that usually stretch into a big, goofy smile-- No, he needs to stop this train of thought. Not with Harry literally _right_ here.

Louis watches the boys on screen rock against one another and speeds up his hand, and throws his head back, squeezing his eyes shut. He comes in what would be an embarrassingly quick amount of time if not for his unintentional, two-week-long celibacy. He spurts onto his stomach as the other pair of boys start eating each other out. "Fuck."

"I know, right."

Louis wipes off his stomach with his hand and pauses, self-conscious. Sometimes he, well okay _usually_ , he'll just lick his hands clean. He likes the taste of spunk; sue him. Now with Harry here though, he's not sure what to do. He could wipe his hands on his sheets; they _are_ his, after all.

Harry is still looking pointedly at the screen, watching the boys fumble on the bed. His hand is circled loosely around himself, stroking lazily, clearly taking his time. Finally Harry murmurs as if sensing his hesitation, interrupting Louis's thoughts, "Just pretend I'm not here."

Louis nods even though Harry's not looking at him. As quietly as he can, he licks the come off his fingers and wipes the rest off of his chest. He glances at Harry to see if he's noticed.

Harry's got his bottom lip sucked between his teeth, his hands quickening slightly.

"I thought you didn't want to rush," Louis murmurs.

Harry lets his lip out and whispers, "Are you watching me Louis?" Before Louis could look away and protest, Harry says, "It's fine. I said you could, remember? So...are you?"

"I think you already know, Harry."

"It's okay if you are, you know."

"Yeah, well, I'm not looking at you anymore," Louis mumbles, turning his attention back to the screen.

"You didn't _have_ to stop, Lou, it's fi-"

"No, no, I know. It's just- I can see why this is your favorite; I wanna actually watch it." Now that Louis's started talking, he's feeling a little bolder. The boys in the video have switched up their positions a bit and Louis wonders what it'd feel like to have someone licking him open like that. Or to do something like that for someone else. "You know, I've never done...that."

"You've never?" asks Harry.

"No, no. I've, you know, kissed some guys and there've been some sloppy handjobs, almost a blowjob once, but I've never really gone very far with a guy before." He pauses. "Why? Have _you_?"

"No, of course not. I mean when would I have? I've kissed some guys, but that's as far it's really gone. Is that...something you'd _want_ to do?"

Louis doesn't hesitate. "Yeah, eventually. Maybe. _Hopefully._ But with the way things are going for us, with our popularity. It doesn't seem like... I'll have a chance to meet anyone that I _might_ want to date, let alone get to know someone well enough to do something like that."

"Yeah, I...know what you mean," Harry sighs. Harry's hand slows again and Louis being running the back of his fingers over his over sensitive cock. He tries (and fails) to hold back a whimper. "You alright?"

"Yeah, no, just, uh. Sensitive still, you know? This is...really good though. Like. Really good."

"I thought you might like it."

"Yeah, I-- Well, see now, that's just unrealistic."

Harry laughs lightly. "What, the magically appearing condom? I mean, it _is_ porn, Lou."

"Yeah and like, I dunno..."

"What?"

"He didn't, like, prep him at all...I dunno, I know it's porn, but like..."

Louis turns, forgetting for a moment the situation they're in and chokes in a breath at the sight of the boy next to him. He's flushed with a light sheen of sweat and gripping the base of his cock like he's trying desperately not to come. "Yeah, I sort of like to think he's still loose and open from night before and they're waking up, to pick up where they left off. That's probably dumb, but like..."

"You have a backstory for the porn?"

Harry bites his lip sheepishly, "Yeah?"

"That's sweet, actually. I can tell you like it."

"Can you?" Harry's voice cracks as he finally allows his hand to speed up. "Tell, I mean?"

"Uh, I mean..."

"Sorry, sorry," Harry pants. "That was...never mind, I, fuck." Harry spills over his fist just as the boy on the screen does. Louis belatedly realized the film must be almost over and he's hasn't even tried to touch himself again. He's simply been enjoy watching Harry. And _not_ watching Harry.

"You, um," Louis starts trying to break Harry's post-orgasmic silence. "You said you like to just listen sometimes, is this...um?"

"No, I like to watch this one. S'almost over." And it's not. Shortly after, the second boy finally comes and presses a sweet kiss to the other's forehead before the screen fades to black. _Wow_ , Louis thinks. Harry responds, "I know," and Louis absently thinks he must've spoken out loud. Well.

"Could you pass me a tissue or something?"

"Oh shit, yeah, of course." Louis grabs the box of tissues and holds it out for Harry.

He reaches out to take some and makes eye contact with Louis for the first time since he walked in the room and Louis blushes faintly. Harry puts the tissues on the other nightstand and Louis forces himself to not watch Harry clean himself off. Desperate for a distraction, he stands up and slides his pants back on before sitting on the bed again.

When he looks to Harry again, he's sitting at the edge of the bed doing the same and looking to Louis with a question in his eyes. "Harry?"

"Sorry, I was. Do you, um, want me to leave?"

"What?"

Harry holds his clothes in one hand and rubs the back of his neck with the other. "I was, I don't know if you want me to, like, get out of your room now?"

Louis narrows his eyes. "I mean you can leave if you want...?"

"And if I don't want to?"

Louis shrugs. "I'm not going to kick you out of my room, Harry."

"Well, I wasn't sure if it would be, I dunno."

Louis rolls his eyes. "Hey, don't be stupid, alright? Come here." He holds his arms open and gestures for Harry to join him in the bed again. Harry smiles and drops his clothes on the floor before sitting on the bed next to Louis. "C'mon let's lie down; I'm proper knackered."

Louis slides himself under his sheet and holds it up for Harry to do the same. He settles himself against his pillow and Harry pillows himself on Louis's chest, draping an arm over Louis's stomach. "Thank you for...letting me stay. I always want a cuddle after, but s'kind of hard to do that on your own."

"It's alright." Louis cards his fingers through Harry's curls, feeling the younger boys warm breath on his skin. "M'always up for a cuddle, you know that."

"I'll keep that in mind." Harry strokes his fingers lightly over Louis's ribcage and Louis can feel him biting at his lips. "Lou...um."

"Hm?"

"Don't get mad, okay? You promise?"

Louis shuts his eyes for a moment, preparing himself for god only knows what Harry's about to say. "I promise. You can tell me anything."

"You're really beautiful when you come," Harry mumbles into Louis's skin.

His eyes fly open. "What!"

"You promised you wouldn't be mad...I, I noticed you closed your eyes, I couldn't help it."

"I-" Louis sighs. "I'm not mad at you, H. I'm just surprised. It's fine, okay?"

"Okay. Can I still sleep here?"

"'Course. Goodnight."

"Night, Lou."

* * * * *

The next morning, Louis wakes up feeling pleasantly well-rested. He's also got- Oh. He's hard.

He's hard and Harry is still lying on top of him. Wanking off to porn together is one thing. This, well. This could complicate things. Except.

Unless Harry's started taking bananas to bed with him, his erection is currently poking Louis in the hip. Interesting.

As if Harry can hear Louis's inner turmoil, he begins to stir, stretching and cracking his joints. "Morning," he murmurs against Louis's chest. A second later, Harry's brain registers exactly what's going on and he lifts his head to look at Louis. "Shit, sorry about..." He gestures below the covers.

"Nah, it's, um, fine. Mutual and all that," Louis notes nodding down to his own situation.

"Oh." Harry shifts so his cock isn't pressed directly into Louis's thigh anymore. "We could, um. You know."

"We could what?"

"You know. Like yesterday."

Louis lowers his eyebrows as he understands Harry's meaning. "You want to watch porn together again?"

"Well. Maybe not the porn. Don't really feel like moving out of bed, to be honest. But, the other stuff."

"You want to just...?"

"Yeah? I mean, we don't have to, but I think we'd both rather get off than not and, well, you know how it turned out before. Dunno about you, but I don't really want to go back to rushing when I'm absolutely positive you're not around."

"Yeah," Louis agrees. "S'not very fulfilling that way. So...how should we do this?"

Harry shrugs and lifts himself up to lean against the headboard. "S'not like I've ever really done this before."

"Right. Yeah. Well, let me," Louis trails off and readjusts himself so he's sitting next to Harry against the headboard. "Should we just...go for it then?"

Harry laughs lightly. "Yeah, I mean, I guess." Harry palms over his pants and squeezes himself before going to pull them off, but he pauses to ask, "Um, do you mind if I, you know, look...this time? I mean, you _are_ quite fit, dunno if you've noticed."

Louis rolls his eyes. "Yeah."

"Yeah, you mind?"

Louis slaps his thigh, which he regrets at second later and explains, "Yeah, you can look. It's fine."

Already having done this once, Louis is slightly less apprehensive so he peels off his pants and re-positions his pillow behind him. Harry follows suit, tossing his pants on the floor where the rest of his clothes ended up last night.

Louis ignores Harry at first, choosing to focus on relieving some of his tension first. Although he's not sure how much tension is being relieved with Harry mere centimeters from him. But. He's trying.

He curls his fingers around his dick and enjoys the drag of his hand. Louis continues with a loose fist around himself, getting warmed up more slowly than yesterday since he intends lasting longer this time. Teenager or not, yesterday was kind of embarrassing.

Harry, on the other hand, doesn't seem to hold the same insecurity. He's got a tight grip on himself, wanking furiously from the get-go. When Louis notices his hand stills and he gapes slightly at the younger boy. Naturally, this is the moment Harry chooses to lift his head and meets Louis's gaze.

Louis's face flushes and he looks away quickly, but he can see Harry smirking out of the corner of his eye.

Louis quickens his hand and swallows the lump in his throat. Harry comes a moment later all over his chest. He lets out a deep breath and settles back into the pillow more comfortably as he waits for Louis to finish.

"There's, ah, tissues next to you," Louis starts awkwardly.

Harry nods absently. "I know, s'fine. I can wait." He, not so subtly, turns his head to watch Louis continue to get himself off. Louis flushes under Harry's scrutiny and his hand stutters slightly. He ends up whacking into Harry's thigh with his elbow.

"Sorry," he mumbles. 

"Not a problem."

Louis comes over his fist, letting out an unsteady breath. Harry finally reaches for the box of tissues and passes Louis some and takes a couple for himself. They wipe themselves off quietly and Harry holds his hand out for Louis's dirtied tissues once he's done.

He hands them over and watches Harry walk to small rubbish bin in the corner of Louis's room. Once he tosses them he turns back to Louis. "I'll go make us some breakfast?"

"Sure," Louis nods. 

Fuck.

* * * * *

The next few days pass with significantly less tension between the boys much to Louis's relief. So for the first time in weeks, he doesn't jump at the sound of a knock at his bedroom door.

"Come in." Harry slides into the room, shuts the door behinds him, and dives on top of Louis who had been reading before bed. "Hello to you to," he laughs.

"So, I've been thinking."

Louis frowns and brushes Harry's curls off his forehead. "Not hurting yourself, I hope."

"Shut it," he retorts, lightly. "But, really, I _was_ thinking...that maybe, um, getting off together could kind of, like, be a thing?"

"A thing," Louis repeats.

Harry nods. "Yeah, like, I really don't wanna go back to the way things were for a while, 'cos like, that really sucked, yeah?"

"Yeah," Louis agrees cautiously.

"So? What d'ya think?"

Louis dog-ears his page and puts his book on the nightstand. He folds his hands across Harry's back. "I dunno."

"Oh. I thought. Nevermind, it's fine." Harry rolls off of him, but Louis grabs his arm before he can slide off of the bed.

"Wait. What did you think?"

Harry suppresses a groan. "Just that, I dunno, that you liked what we were doing?"

"Who says I didn't?"

Harry peeks up from beneath his fringe. "So you did?"

"Harry, you were there, weren't you? I thought it was quite obvious I enjoyed myself."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Harry clears his throat. "So, would you mind if we...?

"What, right now?" Harry just smiles sheepishly. "Jesus, fine. Get your pants off, Styles."

* * * * *

The next week continues in a haze of post-coital bliss. Louis's not even sure he can even classify it as _post_ anything as he's spent most of the past seven days at least half-hard. And he's pretty sure he's had to wipe Harry's come off his leg more than once. It's been a long week.

He probably should have said no to this whole thing, anyway, considering it's done absolutely nothing to hinder his feelings for Harry. Harry who only seems interested in Louis as a friend. A friend who he masturbates with, but still.

As if on cue, Harry opens his door without knocking. They've given up on that again now that they're only getting off together. Or at least Louis is, he's not sure about Harry. He's not sure how Harry could have enough energy to wank off any more than he does with Louis, but you never know. 

"So, Lou, I've been thinking again."

"Now, Curly, what did I tell you about that?"

Harry ignores him and barrels on. "Could I, like, kiss you?" Considering all of Louis's fantasizing, he supposes he shouldn't be so shocked at the words, and yet he is.

"Kiss me?"

"Yeah. I mean, not that I don't love wanking myself off and everything, but it's so...you know?" Yes, Louis does know. So he says so. "So, can I?"

"Yeah." _Shit_. Louis really needs to work on that brain-to-mouth filter thing.

"Oh thank god." Harry scrambles onto Louis's bed and pulls Louis on top of him. He reaches his neck up and yanks Louis down to let their lips meet in the middle. It's surprisingly soft considering how quickly Harry flipped them here.

Harry keeps his hands in Louis's hair, thumbs grazing along his cheekbones. Louis is balanced on his elbows on either side of Harry's shoulders, muscles straining as he tries to concentrate on evening his breathing. 

Louis is finding that harder to do when Harry tries to slip his tongue past the seam of his lips. Louis lets him, but finally takes control of the kiss, directing Harry's sloppy tongue along his own. Harry releases one of his hands from Louis's hair and brings it to the small of his back.

He pulls back for a second, leaving Louis panting into the air between them. "Is this still okay?"

"Of course. Now shut up, I thought you wanted to kiss me?"

"I do," Harry agrees and brings Louis back down to return to their snogging. His free hand is teasing at the top of Louis's pajama bottoms, edging closer to his bum.

Louis shifts his weight to one arm and uses the other to slide Harry's massive hand over his bum. Harry moans into Louis's mouth as he squeezes a handful. "Fuck, Lou," he breathes against his lips. "Louislouislouis, Lou, can you, um, touch me?"

Louis's eyes flick open and he pulls up from Harry. "Um, you mean like?"

"Yeah, I mean, if you want? I'd like that, like, if you would, I mean no pressure or anything, but yeah."

"I, yeah, okay. I could do that." Harry smiles softly, biting his lip. He slides his hand back up to Louis's waist.

Louis props himself up on his knees, his hands hoisting him so he's now hovering over Harry. He kisses Harry lightly once again and trails a hand down his chest. "You sure?"

"Yeah. Anything for you, H."

With that, Louis swallows down his nerves and cups his hand over Harry's pajama bottoms. He can feel Harry hot and hard against his hand, feel his hot breath puffing against his own lips, see Harry's eyelids drop slightly in pleasure, hear him let out a muffled, " _Yes_."

"Good?"

Harry nods. "Just, could you, more, please." Louis takes the hint and leans back onto his thighs. He shuffles down Harry's legs a bit to give himself some room and reaches for the elastic of Harry's pajamas. He looks to Harry for confirmation and he just nods in response.

Louis shifts them down to mid-thigh, freeing Harry's flushed cock. He's seen him like this before, of course. They've done this enough times now that the sight itself isn't quite the shock it first was, but. But. He's got Harry warm and pliant beneath him. Beneath his hand and just squirming and hot and _begging_ him to touch him. 

Louis probably should, _No_ , he thinks, he _definitely_ should stop this now. If he goes through with this, they've certainly crossed that feeble line they've been toeing lately. But fuck, does he want this.

"Um," Louis begins. 

"Hm?"

Louis sucks his top lip between his teeth. "Harry, are you sure about this?"

"Yeah, of course. I didn't just ask on a whim, you know. I told you I've been thinking."

Louis slides the waistband back up Harry's legs and moves to sit cross-legged next to him instead. "I know. It's just, I've been thinking, too. And, I know I said yes, but I probably shouldn't've."

"Oh." Harry sits up and folds his hands. "Sorry."

"Don't." Louis sighs. "You don't have to _apologize_ , Harry. I said yes because I _wanted_ to, okay?"

Harry wrinkles his brow. "But if you _want_ to, why aren't you?"

Louis folds himself and rests his chin on his knees, looking away from the younger boy. "Because I wanted to do it. I wanted you to ask me and I wanted to do it. I want this and I want you, so like, I _can't_ , I just can't."

"Hey, look at me." Louis reluctantly does, still keeping his arms wrapped around his knees. "I want you, too. Why else would I have wanted to do all this? I don't get why you're making such a big deal out of this, it's just-"

"Just what, Harry? Just sex? Don't you think I know that? That that's all this is for you? Just sex. Fuck, I _know_ it's just sex. Believe me, I fucking know. But that's the problem; it's not just sex for me, okay? I, god, I like you Harry. Like, I honestly fancy you and I can't do anything about it and it was fine until, well, until everything. And I knew we shouldn't have done any of this, but how could I say no? How could I deny myself what I wanted most?

"Well, maybe not _most_ , but I knew this was as close as I could get to the real thing. How the fuck was I gonna say no to that? But I can't do this to you. Hell, I can't do this to _me_. This has been great, okay? I'm not saying it hasn't been, but it's killing me, Harry. It's absolutely killing me to be able to see you like this, to be _so fucking close_ , but at the same time I've never felt farther away. I just can't do it anymore." He drops his head to his knees again and mumbles, "Maybe you should just go now."

A second later he feels Harry's hand run through his hair and rub circles into his back. "Louis."

"It's fine, Harry. I really, really don't want your pity." He looks up. "Can you go?"

"No."

" _No?_ "

Harry shakes his head and lifts Louis's chin with a finger. "No, I can't go."

Louis jerks his head back. "Fine. Do whatever you want." Harry quickly scoots closer and grabs Louis's face between his palms and presses a kiss to his lips. Louis pushes him off and exasperatedly asks, "What the hell are you doing?"

"What I want, as you just suggested."

"Yeah, well, I don't really want to kiss you right now."

"That's all I ever want to do, if I'm honest."

Louis huffs. "Yes, that's great, Harry, but as I've just said I've kind of got feelings for you, and you're just looking for someone convenient to shag with, so forgive me if I'm not really in the mood for a snog."

" _Louis_. You- you really think that's all this is for me?"

"Well. Isn't it?"

Harry untangles Louis's fingers and grasps his hands between his own. "No. God, not at all. I mean, yeah, we were just having sex or whatever, but I like _you_ , probably love you a bit, to tell the truth, but. I dunno. What is love, anyway? But, like, this wasn't just about the sex. Like, of course it was a little, yeah? But it's about you, Louis. It's always been you, right from the beginning."

"I just didn't want them to be right, you know, like on principle, but I fancied you right off. I thought you thought I was, like, too old or something."

Harry snorts. "Lou, you're only two years old than me."

"Still. So. You, like, like me? Like properly fancy me?"

Harry laces their fingers together. "Yes. So much. I've never felt like this for anybody before. I know that sounds like an awful cliché, but."

Louis squeezes Harry's hands. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay, you can kiss me now."

"And the rest?"

Louis smiles. "Yeah, the rest is okay, too. Better than, even."

"Good." Harry pulls one of his hands free and grips the back of Louis's neck to bring their lips together once more. Louis laughs into it and grabs at Harry's flimsy t-shirt with his free hand, squeezing his fingers with the other.

They kiss lazily for a few minutes until Louis's neck starts to cramp. He supposes the same goes for Harry when he sees him rubbing at his nape with the hand not still twined with Louis's. "I want to sleep with you," Harry says earnestly.

"How forward of you."

Harry rolls his eyes. "No, I mean, like, _sleep_. I'm tired and I just want to be close to you right now."

"We can do that. Hit the light, would you?"

Harry clicks off the lamp and slides under the sheets. He lies on his side and holds his arms out.

"Oh, hell no, Styles. I didn't put up with being the little spoon before, don't think just because you're my boyfriend now that's going to change."

"I'm your boyfriend?"

"Duh," Louis says simply. "Now come here and let me cuddle you properly."

"Yes, sir." Louis curls his body around Harry's and tangles their hands together against Harry's chest. "Goodnight, Lou."

"Night, Harry."

"I, I love you."

Louis takes a deep breath and whispers, "Yeah, Harry, I think I love you, too." He presses a kiss to his hair. He thinks he might know it, too, but they have time for that. Louis is pretty sure they have forever for 'I love you's and maybe even a little bit after that as well. Harry squeezes his fingers again in response, and. Yeah, they've definitely got forever ahead of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Any kudos/comments are appreciated and thanks for reading!!  
>  Any extra tidbits from the fic can be found [here](http://hitopslou.tumblr.com/tagged/libits).


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